Sharing openly from the heart. Looking Trauma in the eye.
The first two chapters of this story were inspired by a dream a friend of mine shared with me. The dream had a specific meaning for her. When I heard it I heard something else and all of a sudden this story started to unfold in my head.
Read MoreMaking public my theory or sensing on subjects like the one on my last post, is quite the nerve wrecking experience. I notice that I have been shying away from publishing anything like this, unless it comes from a very particular personal experience.
I have a fear of saying something controversial. I have a fear of saying something wrong. I have a fear of being judged as fluffy and without depth. I have a fear of people attacking my view. I have a fear of confrontation online and in person.
Read MoreI have been sensing this message for quite some time but only today I felt called to put it down on paper as well as make it public. Hoping it resonates and inspires you to go deeper within yourself as well as have a different experience when listening or sharing stories.
Read MoreI feel that this has been coming together for some time. Back in July, I received a clear message that I must write more, that I must share my ‘voice’.
I started writing more social media posts, exploring expressing myself and what I was experiencing with the written word.
The message to write and share my ‘voice’ continued to show up in many ways in the months after. I carried on writing.
Read MoreA poem I wrote on Sadness.
I was sitting on the sofa. The word sadness jumped into my awareness. I knew I had to do something with it. I delayed taking any action for a little while, seeking a distraction, yet I knew that the word was still there, patiently waiting for me to grab some pen and paper. Finally I do and this is what comes out…
At the beginning of November I attended a Vipassana Meditation 10 day Silent Retreat. I have made a video where I share about my experience. Hope you enjoy it!
Read MoreI would now like to talk about support. A few weeks back I wrote a post ‘Who am I’ (https://www.pelagiapais.com/blog/2018/9/12/who-am-i) telling my story so far. It is a long post and right at the end I added this bit that follows. It feels really vulnerable to ask for support and I have a fear of being judged for this, but I feel it is time to ask for support following my dream, because I do not have to do this on my own.
Read MoreThese are some of the words and phrases that have come up in my life in moments where I needed them the most. Maybe you will find them helpful.
Do you have any words or favourite quotes?
The other day I noticed something in my body. As I was walking, I noticed that my hand was closed and my thumb was tucked in with my fingers holding it safe. The first time I noticed and realised the reason for walking with this hand position was back in 2016 and I realised, through a series of events, self-enquiry and what was happening then, that this meant I was feeling anxious. To notice my body doing this again after a few years of not doing it, raised alarm bells for me. What part of me was feeling anxious and why was I not aware of it?...
Read MoreThis poem was written in February 2018 and it came out in flow from journalling. Suddenly one word joined another and it seemed to have a kind of song in it that makes it a poem, and there it was. The way this poem came out was different from my first one and it showed me the different ways they can come to me. Hope you enjoy it.
Read MoreEvery single soul purpose stated is a piece of who I am, and a piece of every single woman in the room and the world. We are all of those: healers, warriors, shadow hunters, galactic mothers, connectors to the ancestors, witches, truth tellers, bridges between worlds and much more.
Read More‘I am here to heal the feminine’
This was a part of what came up for me this weekend when I participated in a workshop with the title: Magdalena: Mother, Teacher, Whore, lead beautifully and vulnerably by Winter Jade Icely @the_sexwitch.
When I uttered these words out loud, surrounded by a group of women, my body felt full of electricity. I felt the truth in these words deep in my whole being.
Read MoreThis is a poem I wrote from an intense body sensory experience in Bletchley, February 2018. I will be adding some more of my poetry in the coming days. These pieces have all been written from a place of flow and inspiration, with no planning. I never thought I would be writing poetry, yet, here I am. I hope you enjoy this piece as well as my future ones.
Read MoreI used to get very annoyed at all those memes about forgiveness and the idea they seemed to put forward that forgiveness is important in order to move on in your life, that if you continue to hold on to the hurt, you won't be able to move on, and I can see how this is true, yet, what really annoyed me was that I felt that there was a sort promise implied that everything would be ok once you forgave. It would be a happy ever after sort of life.
Read MoreHow many times, as a woman, have you had to physically, and probably energetically, try to shrink yourself to fit? How many times did you dim yourself, so someone could feel better about themselves?
Read More
Do you think that there is a list within you of memories that need to be released? Are there memories that keep coming up at certain times in your life?
Read MoreThis all inspired me to write this post as well as coming to the realisation, that I am no longer the ugly duckling and that it is time to embrace and embody the beautiful swan in me.
Read More
